Important
Recognizing signs of violence
How do I know if I’m in a violent relationship?
If you’ve asked yourself this question, you should know that there are several signs to look out for, and we are here to help you.
- Do you think twice before expressing your opinion in front of him?
- Are you afraid of his angry outbursts?
- Do you feel that you have to hide the situation between the two of you from those close to you?
- Do you feel on edge before he comes home?
- Do his moods change for no reason?
- Are you afraid to tell him you want to break up?
- Does he threaten suicide if you leave?
- Does he humiliate you, including in front of others?
- Does he invalidate your opinion and make you doubt yourself?
- Does he blame you for everything, even for things that have nothing to do with you?
- Does he ignore you and give you the silent treatment for days?
- Does he criticize everything you do?
- Does he claim that all men want to have sex with you and suspect that you are cheating on him?
- Does he prevent you from having friendships with members of the opposite sex?
- Does he keep tabs on your schedule and check up on you to see that you are where you said you were going to be?
- Does he call and text non-stop while you’re with other people?
- Does he check your phone messages or e-mails without your permission?
- Do you feel that you have to delete records of conversations with others from your cell phone?
- Does he try to convince you to cut ties with close friends and even family members?
- Do you find yourself canceling social engagements because of him?
- Does he prohibit you from being alone with the people you are close to?
- Does he tell you what to wear?
- Does he prevent you from realizing your independent desires?
- Does he prevent you from accessing money and control your spending?
- Does he try to show that you have a perfect relationship and express affection towards you in front of others?
- Does he try to flatter your relatives?
- Do you feel the need to present a perfect relationship to the outside world in order to please him?
- When the situation between you is good, is it better than average, but when the situation is bad, is it really bad?
If you answered “yes” to several of these questions, there is a reasonable chance that you are suffering from violence from your partner.
Important! Violence does not remain at the same level for long — it tends to get worse.
We are here to help!
How do I know if someone around me is suffering from domestic violence?
People suffering from domestic violence will go to great lengths to hide the situation from others, for many reasons — fear, guilt, hopelessness, etc.
Here are some signs that can help you recognize the situation and offer help:
• Repeated signs of physical injury on different parts of their body, explained by various excuses
• They distance themselves from friends for no apparent reason
• They repeatedly cancel social commitments, and when they do take part, they appear to be on edge
• They seem withdrawn and avoid sharing things about their relationship
It’s important to remember that even if you suspect that someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, a direct confrontation about it may push them away. It is therefore advisable to reach out to professional sources and consult with them about how to properly help.
If it’s a person who is very close to you, you can help them recognize the signs of violence, but it’s very important to avoid criticism and to emphasize that it is not their fault. It is also important that you continue to support and be there for the person, whatever choice they make.
If you have any suspicions, now is the time to contact us.
Don’t hesitate. Remember: sometimes tomorrow may be too late!
A safe and secure break-up
Breaking up with a violent partner is a complex move that can be dangerous. Therefore, it is important to plan it correctly.
What to do
- Contact a professional who understands this subject as soon as possible for advice and guidance.
- Try to continue your daily routine to the extent possible, until you receive advice.
- Let someone close to you know in advance, before you have the conversation with your partner, that you are intending to break up with your partner. Ask this person to make themselves available to help you, immediately if necessary.
- Have the conversation with your partner in a public place, with other people around.
- Let the professional you speak with know in advance if your partner has a weapon or access to a weapon, so that you can evaluate the best way forward.
What not to do
- Do not let him know that you are thinking about breaking up with him.
- Do not threaten to break up with him.
- Do not humiliate him.
- Do not tell him how worthless he is.
- Do not tell him that you don’t need him and that you can manage without him.
- Do not threaten to take the children away from him.
- Do not threaten that he will be left on his own.
- Do not threaten to leave him with nothing.